Pauline Nevins

As we celebrate our nation’s 246th year of independence, let’s not forget those who are currently fighting and dying for their freedom.

The flag is as recognizable to me now as the Union Jack and Stars and Stripes. It is, of course, the Ukrainian flag with its simple bands of blue and gold – blue for the sky above and gold below, representing the wheat fields of the “breadbasket of the world.”

My neighbor, Pene, hoisted this flag outside her home next to a winding two-lane road in Meadow Vista. Her grandson made the stand, she told me, proudly. The flag prompted me to call Pene. Is she flying the flag to show solidarity with Ukraine, as so many are? Of course, but she has more direct ties. Her son, Geoff, is married to Mila, a Ukrainian.

When Pene and I spoke, the couple was living in Poland, a country that borders Ukraine. They moved there from the U.S. to be closer to Mila’s family. Pene suggested I speak directly to Geoff to get answers to questions about life so close to the conflict. It was 9:30 a.m. in California and 6:30 p.m. in Poland when two good-looking faces popped up on my Zoom call. Mila snuggled close to Geoff, and would occasionally lay her head on his shoulder.

Geoff’s connection to Ukraine began in 2016. Divorced, with five adult children, he joined the Peace Corps, a goal his mother aspired to before marriage and family took her on a path to teaching. Geoff was first assigned to Chernihiv, in northern Ukraine, to complete language and cultural training, then to Dubno, in the west, to complete his service. It was there he met Mila.

I asked Pene if Geoff’s adventurous spirit surprised her.

“Nothing he does surprises me,” she said, and laughed, in a good way. Geoff, she said, was always independent, self-motivated and once involved is totally committed.

Geoff returned to the U.S. with Mila and was in Washington state at 7 p.m. on Feb. 24 when Mila heard the news of Russia President Vladimir Putin’s so-called “Special Operation” – Russia’s unprovoked attack on Ukraine. Mila frantically called her family to plead with them to leave Ukraine for the safety of Poland.

It was Mila’s call, from 6,000 miles away in America, that alerted her mother, sister’s family and Mila’s son, Vova, to the invasion of their country. Their response? They were not leaving. You are panicking, they told her.

“They were angry with me for being so insistent,” she said. For weeks, she cried and lost weight. Every time Mila called her son, sirens wailed in the background.

“He would try to cheer ME up,” she added. “He texted me pictures of kittens.”

Two days after the invasion, the Ukrainian government declared Martial Law and closed the borders.

Mila’s mention of sirens reminded me of my mother’s experience living in London during the Nazi bombing raids in World War II. Decades later, during thunderstorms, my mother would disappear into the room under the stairs known as the gas cupboard – so named because it housed the gas meter and main pipes. I was a clueless kid, but even I knew she was pushing her luck each time she struck a match to light her Woodbine cigarette.

Mila’s family seemed to be pushing their luck by remaining in Ukraine. But as Geoff explained, the Ukrainian people have such a strong connection to their land and families that many are unwilling to leave, even as the war rages around them.

Three days after our Zoom meeting, Geoff and Mila moved from Poland to Dubno to be nearer to Mila’s family. Dubno was struck by missiles in the early days of the war and remains on alert. When Mila asked her 17-year-old niece how these missile warnings make her feel, the young woman responded that at first she cried a lot. But now, when they end, she just feels happy to be alive.

I asked Geoff what he and Mila plan to do in Ukraine. Both are highly educated. Geoff has degrees in various disciplines, and Mila is a college professor and recently certified as a medical interpreter in English, Ukrainian and Russian.

“She’s extraordinarily brilliant,” Geoff said, giving a proud glance over his shoulder.

Geoff is thinking beyond the war and how he can utilize his background in environmental management for reconstruction of infrastructure demolished during the invasion. Projects such as these lend themselves to community involvement, and we discussed a future American sister-city relationship with Dubno – an idea I’d actively support.

During the early weeks of the war, Geoff said, it was valuable to get necessities like clothing, blankets and personal items into Ukraine. Now, it’s important to donate to organizations that have systems in place like UN Crisis Relief, UNICEF and the World Health Organization, to help refugees and internally displaced people evacuated from eastern Ukraine. This sentiment of ongoing support was eloquently expressed by New Zealand’s Prime Minister, Jacinda Ardern.

During an interview with talk-show host Stephen Colbert, Ardern shared a conversation she had with Ukraine’s President Zelensky. She lamented how dwarfed her contribution from a country of 5 million people seemed, considering the magnitude of what was happening.

The Ukrainian president responded that, “It’s not about small, and it’s not about big. It’s those who react, and those who don’t, and you have reacted.”

The New Zealand PM added her own words: “... It’s about values … standing together, showing that it’s not a conflict that we are going to have happen in the shadows. … We’ll speak up and speak against it and stand together until it ends.”